“Bless Men When They Revile You.”

Stamping out the false I

In a discourse in New York on Jnana Yoga, Swami Vivekananda said, “Bless men when they revile you. Think how much good they are doing by helping to stamp out the false ego.” (C.W., Vol 8, p. 31). This is very difficult advice to accept. Our natural tendency is, at all costs, to protect the ego. We have faith that that false ego is our very self and so must protect it and build it up if we can. We try to build it up by means of pleasure, power, position, possession, popularity, and praise. Vedanta teaches that it really doesn’t exist. That is no doubt why we always have a nagging feeling that it is not good enough. It’s not good enough because it doesn’t exist despite our faith in it.

Men used to fight duels to the death to avenge insults. And people are still killed because they have said something another person considers offensive. It may be that the Civil War in this country was at least partly a result of the honor of Southern gentlemen being besmirched by the portrayal of many slave owners as villains, such as Simon Lagree. It is said that Lincoln, upon meeting Harriet Beecher Stowe, said, “So, you’re the little lady who caused this big war.”

Swami Pavitrananda, in a talk on the Gita, said, “Our ego sense veils the eternal presence of God. It is the source of all trouble.” He then said, “Kill it.” How to do this? He suggested that we constantly repeat, “Not I, but Thou.” This advice comes directly from Sri Ramakrishna, who taught his disciples to repeat this along with, “I am a machine. God operates the machine.” We are not doers. Only God is the doer.

In a talk on Bhakti Yoga, Swamiji said, “The Bhakti-Yogi must hold himself as a dead man. A dead man never takes an insult, never retaliates; he is dead to everyone. (C.W., vol 9, p. 228.) I recall Swami Tathagatananda saying to me, “I am a dead man.” He lived this advice. And what a forgiving person he was. He would blow up but never remain angry at anyone.

Mother Teresa of Calcutta, in advice to her disciples on how to cultivate humility, writes, “Accept insults and injuries.” And also, “Accept being slighted, forgotten, and disliked.”

The great Christian saint, Martin de Porres of Lima, Peru (born 1579), always tried to cultivate humility. He was the illegitimate son of a Spanish nobleman and a free black woman. He joined a monastery as a servant (not considering himself worthy to be an actual brother). One day, one of the monks, angry at him, called him a ‘black dog.” His response: “You’re right. I am a black dog.” Then Saint Martin brought him a food treat by way of thanks for helping him cultivate humility. How many of us can act the way Saint Martin did?

Swami Adbhutananda said to young monks, “You are too eager for getting respects, which are the worst enemies of sadhus. If you care for spirituality, fling away all hankering after respects.” (THE APOSTLES OF RAMAKRISHNA, p. 292-3.) Receiving respect can enhance the false I.

However, this isn’t a license to be unkind in our remarks. As Holy Mother said, “Don’t see the faults in others.” As Swamiji taught, each person is divine. Treat them as such.

Nevertheless, the training in the Ramakrishna Order seems to include scoldings. Swami Prabhavananda, in his book The Eternal Companion, talks of a time in his training when Swami Brahmananda began to scold him relentlessly. He understood that this was to help him let go of the false I.

It is inevitable that unkind things will be said to each of us. May we be able to digest these as helps in the path of developing humility – of developing what Sri Ramakrishna called the “ripe I.”