Old Age and Spirituality

Filling the void

Last week the NY Times had an article describing that alcohol use is increasing among the elderly.  A feature of the Times is that there is the opportunity for comment.  I looked at the comments and they were sad.  Many who wrote said they were old and that they used alcohol because of the emptiness of their lives.  They said that alcohol helped them cope.  One person responding to this advised that they switch to marijuana since it isn’t such a health threat.  

Reading all this led me to feel so grateful that I am on a spiritual path.  I am also old.  I’m 82 although so far in fairly good health and my mind is reasonably clear.  I am retired from gainful employment.  Seeking God is my full-time occupation.  It occurs to me that as religion has declined in this country old age has become increasingly empty.  If the satisfactions of life are based on external forms of satisfaction, as external things fade life must become empty.  So, alcohol comes to the rescue.  One can become numb and remain numb until the Grim Reaper comes.  Yes, alcohol does impart a certain amount of elation.  One can enjoy that in one’s last years.

Say you loved to play tennis, but now arthritis prevents this.  You loved to play chess, but your chess partner passed away.  You loved being intimate with your spouse, but your spouse is no longer interested.  You used to love watching TV, but now the programs all annoy you.  You liked to argue about politics with your cousin, but your cousin developed dementia.  You used to love to travel but now it’s become a chore.  You had looked forward to retirement so much, but now you miss how in working you felt useful to others.  You are fortunate in that you have enough money to make ends meet in retirement but now your life lacks meaning.  One of my co-workers retired at 60, as soon as he was financially able to retire.  I called him a year later and asked how he was doing.  He answered, “Bill, I have become a dog.  I lie on the couch all day and watch TV.”  I wonder if he had a beer in his hand.

My Grandfather, my mother’s father, lived to 97.  He told me about four years before he died that when he went out on the street in front of the apartment building where he lived in Brooklyn there was no one that he recognized.  He had outlived everyone he knew.  Then one of his legs had to be amputated.  After that, he was too ashamed to go out on the street.  His father had been the canter at their synagogue in Belarus and so he had a religious upbringing.  However, the winds of Marxism were blowing and this slogan became popular:  “Religion is the opiate of the masses.”  He lost his faith, seeing what a poor living his father could make despite his piety.  He remained an atheist until the amputation and then unconsciously he regained his faith.  He would talk about going to heaven and would sing in Yiddish, as he lay in bed, the lullabies his mother sang to him when he was a child, getting ready for the Big Sleep.  He now needed religion desperately and it returned to him.

I feel prepared.  If I don’t have an untoward death, I too will lose this and that and the other bit by bit by bit.  Just this week, two Vedanta friends died:  Shankara of Atlanta and Kent Katz, the husband of Janet and the younger brother of Pr. Prabuddhaprana.  Also, my dear cousin Tina just died.  However, I have Thakur, Holy Mother, Swamiji, Raja Maharaj, my guru, that is, Swami Pavitrananda who I believe is watching over me, Swami Tathagatananda, my upa guru, and many, many dear Ramakrishna Swamis, Pravrajikas, and fellow dear devotees with whom I have a strong and long connection.  It is a close family spanning both earthly and supernal regions.   Vedanta has taught me to practice contentment and I have heard stories about elderly Vedantists who had much pain at the end but remained content.  They were in pain, but they said that they didn’t suffer.  This gives me hope that I too will be like that if need be.  Vedanta has taught me to practice surrender.  Lord give me the peace of mind to accept with a cheerful mind whatever You dish out to me.  Vedanta has taught me that I am not this body.  Therefore, the death of the body is an event but certainly not a tragic one.  I’ll be getting rid of a worn-out garment.  I already have a certain amount of faith that my consciousness cannot die no matter how many bodies I may have to take in the future.  Here at the Vivekananda Retreat, Ridgley where I live, Pravrajika Shuddhatmaprana leads the reading every morning when she is here.  Almost at the end, there is the following prayer: “For as long as space endures, and as long as sentient beings remain, may I too abide to relieve the misery of the world.”   I’ve been saying this prayer almost daily for 17 years, so I’m probably coming back but hopefully, I will know that I am not this body/mind complex.  I hope that I will know that I am God’s machine doing His work.  If I know this then I can truly be of help.  Most importantly, I have the goal of God-realization which gives meaning to my life.  Sri Ramakrishna declares that the goal of life is God-realization.  He says the joy of realization is incomparably greater than any earthly joy.  I feel fortunate that I have accepted this as my goal.  Yes, it gives meaning to my old age.