The Paramahamsa Carita of Swami Vijnanananda, originally published in Hindi in 1904, has many teachings of Sri Ramakrishna all numbered. Later it was translated into English. A copy of this sat in the library of the New York Vedanta Society. There is now a new translation called Sri Ramakrishna Life and Message (Advaita Ashrama, 2018). My friend Bill Page (Author of The Nirvana Experiments) had a hand in this. Teaching number 373 from the first translation is “Abandonment of desire for ‘woman and wealth’ is called vairagya . . . Without this and viveka no religion is possible.” In the new translation #373 is, “Abandoning lust and greed is called vairagya or renunciation. Without discrimination and renunciation, spiritual progress is impossible.” Although Sri Ramakrishna must have been speaking to men when the original was penned, it is now common practice to generalize his words, so they apply to both men and women. However, I feel a better generalization would be: “Abandonment of desire for the objects of lust and greed” would be closer to the original meaning. The word “lust” is an abstraction; “an object of lust” is more concrete. Thakur liked to speak in concrete rather than abstract terms. This made his teachings vivid.
So how does one abandon (carnal) desire for a woman (or for a man)? Apparently, this can be done. Sri Ramakrishna would not have said this if it wasn’t possible. The implication is that the desire can remain, but it can be abandoned. This sounds easier than eradicating the desire altogether. Another implication is that we and the desire are separate. This is a novel thought for me. As Swami Sarvapriyananda would no doubt say: the desire is an object in consciousness, but it is not I. In thinking back on my own history, it seems that when carnal desire for the opposite sex began to arise, I, without hesitation, joined with it as if it were part of me. This eventually ended up in my entering a 43-year-long marriage (ending 17 years ago). However, I didn’t have to make the choice of joining with this desire – becoming its partner. It’s as if I had an older brother who was always getting into mischief. I looked up to him and joined him gladly in his mischief. But I would not have had to make this choice. Now, after a lifetime of identifying with these feelings and throwing my ego and will into either satisfying these desires or fighting with them, it’s a novel thing to think that I can do otherwise. But it’s also a LIBERATING thing. I don’t have to be a slave to these desires (or be at war with them). I can observe them – be aware of them -- but resist the temptation to do anything to foster them. I can let them die of neglect. This sounds much more doable than struggling directly with the desire, trying to make it go away. Desire is very stubborn when approached this way.
I’m reminded of one of Sri Ramakrishna’s parables. Imagine that the stray dog you like to pet has flees and you decide to never pet it again. The dog won’t understand your change in attitude and will come to you over and over again to be petted. But eventually, particularly if you beat it, it will stop coming to you. He gave this example in the context of coping with lustful feelings and how they eventually subside. What is beating the dog analogous to? I suppose one should be cross with the lustful thought. The thought will see, like the dog, that it is unwelcome. It’s as if the desire in a man for a woman has a life of its own. I think it’s a game and the other player is Mother Maya. She doesn’t let us off the hook easily. She gives the desire a life of its own. She tempts us over and over again until we can finally say, “Sorry, no more of this game” and actually have the strength to carry out this intention. However, this game is apparently necessary. It builds our spiritual strength.
The same, I assume, can be said for the desire for wealth and the desire for praise. Swami Brahmananda said that even after lust and greed are conquered the desire for praise can bring one to grief. So, we must beware.
I was just listening to Swami Prabhavananda’s Gita class #24, and while lust and greed are mentioned, his definition of renunciation is to keep the mind in God at all times. Perhaps that is the positive way of saying the same thing?